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I want to turn myself inside out. The black hole in my chest has grown too large and the way it pulls at my flesh to collapse is to strong for me to resist. I’m tired of fighting the craving, the voices in my head just scream so loud. I wish I knew how to quiet them. My body and my mind plot against me, tell me to destroy myself. Drink, drug, self harm, suicide. Things I used to survive on, always wanted me to return. Always wanting me to burn. I can’t outrun these demons, I can only outgrow them. But I’m just so fucking exhausted, hurt, terrified, angry, triggered. I’m tired of being all these things. I need to rest.

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